It's easy to get caught up in ourselves and forget about what makes for successful relationships with others - work or personal. Here's a simple framework to keep in your back pocket.
The Three Fundamental Components of Successful Relationships are:
You
The Other Person
The relationship/connection between the two of you
Successful relationships tend to meet the needs of all three components over time.
You have to take care of your own needs. The other has to take care of their own needs. And, the two of you have to take care of the connection needs which established the relationship in the first place. That mutual need being filled us what originate the relationships.
Sounds simple, right? Well, it's not always. Sometimes, people in relationships—work or personal—start to only look at their own needs and forget that there is another person involved in the relationship who has needs as well. If you only solve for your own needs and never for the needs of others, then they may start to ask, "What's in this for me?" or "Why am I doing this?"
In order for the relationship to work, both sides needs to get something out out of it, otherwise why have the relationship?
So, if you want a successful relationship, work to meet the three fundamental components of a successful relationship. What do you have to lose by doing so? You likely have a lot to gain!
That doesn't mean equally in a moment because sometimes, one component may require more attention at the expense of another.
Over time, the treatment should balance out. If you are too focused on any of these three components, you're setting yourself up for issues down the line. Maintaining self-awareness is an essential skill. If you know you tend to gravitate toward one component, ask for help from others to point out blind spots, and be willing and open to listen to them and take action on their observations.
It's not just about you.
It's not just about the other.
It's not just about the connection.
Questions For Reflection:
1. How would others evaluate your posture vis-a-vis this framework?
2. Would others view you the same as you view yourself?
3. If not, why not?
Thought Provocateur Social Media Series
The inspiration for the Thought Provocateur Social Media Series is that I love it when I encounter questions or bits of wisdom that stop me in my tracks. These are the insights that tend to stay in your head for more than five minutes and may come back later to revisit you.
In times of information overload, these are the tidbits that stand out. It’s when signal outweighs noise.
You tend to remember them because they touch something deep inside of us.
About The Nexus Initiative
The Nexus Initiative is a boutique Executive Coaching and Advisory firm based on real-world operating experience. If you know someone looking for a trusted confidant with real-world operating experience to be their coach, please refer them to our website to set up a discovery call.
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